I got into the next town by the next morning, but I don’t really remember much. I remember I whored myself out a couple more times, and then fucked the bell boy at a hotel. He said he was curious! I wanted to help him cure his curiosity. But I was inebriated.
For the next week or so, I slept in a fucking ritzy-ass hotel. It was nice, though. And I still had money left over. The bell boy came back in my room, and climbed into my bed. Except he was wearing normal clothes and everything, not like last night. Personally, I thought he looked best in what normal people called a Birthday Suit? Yeah. He had a nice ass.
I woke up, realizing the boy was under my covers, and I cuddled with him like I would have with Aaron. I even pet his hair and everything.
He seemed so happy, and he was very pretty. “I was just wondering if you were going to leave any time soon…” he was whispering directly in my ear, and he was rubbing up against me nicely. I fucking loved it. It was like having Aaron in every way I possibly could. “I dunno, I’ve been thinking of going home…”
The bellboy was being all flirtatious and horny acting. It made me smile until I realized something. “That’s good, Skyler. I missed you.”
I did have Aaron, what the hell.
I freaked out, and jumped straight out of the bed. “WHAT THE HELL, AARON!”
He giggled like it was nothing, and sat up. “You never let me tell you that I was actually…”
I was freaking out, and yelling at him incoherently at this point, getting everything back on.
Then, in my final sentence before I left, crying, I told him to piss off. I was still so fucking angry at the boy. This just made it worse.
Once again, Aaron chased after me, and this time caught up, tackling me and pinning me to the goddamn wall. “DAEMON, listen to me!” he cried, tears flowing down his face like a fucking waterfall. I pushed him away, but didn’t move anywhere.
“What the hell do you want?” I asked him, trying to keep my voice down.
“Daemon, /you/ were who I was talking about. YOU ARE THE BOY I WAS SO FUCKING OBSESSED OVER!” he said, looking like he wanted to hit me.
“I don’t care about you, though. I know I said I did I fucking loved you, and I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life. But fuck you. FUCK YOU, FUCK LOVE, FUCK LIFE!” I kept walking, but then Aaron came behind me again and fucking hit me. I didn’t want to be responsible for his death, but I was in no mood for this bullshit. I hit him harder than I’d ever hit anything.
I was never going to get over this shit. “You made me do this, you’re the one who fucking laughed at me, okay?” I hit him again, and he just gave up. He let me beat him, and then when I was finally done, I just left him. Left him bleeding in the hotel hallway, and just kept on going like nothing had happened. Daemon pretended like he had no idea who Aaron was, like he'd never felt anything for him at all. His whole emotional system had shut down, just like before he'd met him. There was just one person he'd ever open up to, and he was just going to leave him for dead in that empty, dimly lit hall, lighting a cigarette as he left the building for good.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Chapter 9:
The man paid me fifty fucking dollars. I had become a whore for dinner and to avoid thinking about Aaron. I loved him still, even though he laughed at me. But he still fucking thought I was joking. Or that I was being stupid. Fuck that.
After the man had left and I bought sustenance, I didn’t know what to do anymore. Just stick in front of the 7-11 for the rest of my life, whoring myself out until Aaron thought to look at the goddamn convenience store. I was giving that term a whole new meaning. “Get your illegal pedophile sex AND your stale ramen AND COCA-COLA! PLUS THE GAS TO GET YA HOME TO FUCK YOUR GODDAMN WIFE!” yeah. Convenient was right. Maybe it was good for me to be a whore. Maybe I was supposed to be.
Yeah, right.
I was sitting at one of those booths; you know the ones covered in cheap, bright Formica and plywood? Yeah. Well, I was eating a fucking sandwich, and staring out of the window, and I see Aaron’s mom’s car. I thought for a minute. Food could get rid of pain, but it wasn’t working for me. I needed a drug.
I bought a bottle of Nyquil, and chugged about half or more of it, sitting in the bathroom that smelled like someone had been smoking crack in there, and slept on the goddamn toilet.
I’m the classiest motherfucker—or father fucker—you’ve ever met.
Before I passed out, though, I heard Aaron’s mom asking the fucking Arab out there if he’d seen me. Probably with a picture or something, but the man was just telling her to buy something or get the fuck out of his store.
I woke up to the same man prodding my with a broom handle, and then he kicked me out. I knew I’d be back tomorrow. Who knows, maybe I’ll need more money or something. Whatever. I wouldn’t go back; I was getting as far away from Aaron as I possibly can. Knowing Aaron’s mom, I’d probably be running from the cops on top of everything else.
Damnit.
After the man had left and I bought sustenance, I didn’t know what to do anymore. Just stick in front of the 7-11 for the rest of my life, whoring myself out until Aaron thought to look at the goddamn convenience store. I was giving that term a whole new meaning. “Get your illegal pedophile sex AND your stale ramen AND COCA-COLA! PLUS THE GAS TO GET YA HOME TO FUCK YOUR GODDAMN WIFE!” yeah. Convenient was right. Maybe it was good for me to be a whore. Maybe I was supposed to be.
Yeah, right.
I was sitting at one of those booths; you know the ones covered in cheap, bright Formica and plywood? Yeah. Well, I was eating a fucking sandwich, and staring out of the window, and I see Aaron’s mom’s car. I thought for a minute. Food could get rid of pain, but it wasn’t working for me. I needed a drug.
I bought a bottle of Nyquil, and chugged about half or more of it, sitting in the bathroom that smelled like someone had been smoking crack in there, and slept on the goddamn toilet.
I’m the classiest motherfucker—or father fucker—you’ve ever met.
Before I passed out, though, I heard Aaron’s mom asking the fucking Arab out there if he’d seen me. Probably with a picture or something, but the man was just telling her to buy something or get the fuck out of his store.
I woke up to the same man prodding my with a broom handle, and then he kicked me out. I knew I’d be back tomorrow. Who knows, maybe I’ll need more money or something. Whatever. I wouldn’t go back; I was getting as far away from Aaron as I possibly can. Knowing Aaron’s mom, I’d probably be running from the cops on top of everything else.
Damnit.
Chapter 7:
I was running from the boy, and he was chasing after me like I was important to him.
“DAEMON! COME BACK!” I didn't stop for him. Not even for a second. He didn't deserve it, and there was no way I was gonna just give in like a fucking kid. That wasn't my job to be nice, and it wasn't my job to not leave him. Even though I was only a few weeks from graduation, I'd probably be quitting the next monday. I didn't even want to look at Aaron right now. He'd pissed me off for...the first time ever. He'd never affected me like that. This wasn't something I'd get over quickly either. He kept trying to get me to stop running, and he chased after me for a long time.
But I don't know if I'd even quit. I'd just leave. That whole night I didn't stop running. I couldn't stop thinking about how he'd laughed so easily at the only emotion I'd ever felt, or at least talked about. This is why he hid from telling people how the hell he felt. Because emotions get you hurt. I just wanted to fucking kill myself.
Experience what the "afterlife" would be like first hand.
“DAEMON! COME BACK!” I didn't stop for him. Not even for a second. He didn't deserve it, and there was no way I was gonna just give in like a fucking kid. That wasn't my job to be nice, and it wasn't my job to not leave him. Even though I was only a few weeks from graduation, I'd probably be quitting the next monday. I didn't even want to look at Aaron right now. He'd pissed me off for...the first time ever. He'd never affected me like that. This wasn't something I'd get over quickly either. He kept trying to get me to stop running, and he chased after me for a long time.
But I don't know if I'd even quit. I'd just leave. That whole night I didn't stop running. I couldn't stop thinking about how he'd laughed so easily at the only emotion I'd ever felt, or at least talked about. This is why he hid from telling people how the hell he felt. Because emotions get you hurt. I just wanted to fucking kill myself.
Experience what the "afterlife" would be like first hand.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Chapter 6:
So we walked for once. From school to Aaron’s in about ten minutes. Ten minutes of Aaron looking all worried, and talking about how this guy he liked was so much more different than he was, but that’s what was so attractive. He said they were friends and he didn’t want to make the friendship die over a silly crush. I listened—I’m his outlet for emotion. It’s what I do for him. I actually do a lot more for him than I do for me. I’ll cuddle with the boy forever if that’s what he needs to feel better, and he’ll do the same for me. The boy will listen to me rant about politics, and actually pick up on what I’m saying. It’s amazing. I love the boy so fucking much.
We were now up in his room, I was sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall, and he was sitting in my lap, clinging to me and just getting through with his crying spell. “Aaron, man, I gotta tell you something.” I said, petting his hair as I held him close to me. An unlit cigarette was set in the corner of my mouth, just as something to do with it. “I dunno if you’ll freak out or not, so brace yourself…”
Aaron gave me those eyes, the eyes that said it didn’t matter; he was still my best—and only—friend.
“Aaron, you’ve been talking about this guy all day, and to tell to be honest, I’m getting jealous. To tell the truth, honey, I love you…”
Aaron paused for a second, and then laughed. He fucking laughed at me! I got angry before I even tried to let him speak. I pushed him away and I fucking left him. Just as easy as I had told him, I was gone from his life. I doubted I’d ever talk to him again. I mean, for the first time in my life I was feeling a fucking emotion, and he laughs.
Goddamn I’m just a worthless piece of shit aren’t I?
Chapter 5:
Some openly flamboyant boy approached Aaron once we left school to get back on the bus. “So, Aaron I heard you came out.” He gave Aaron one of those looks like, I’ll be your first, baby.
“Yeah, I did, Mikki, but that doesn’t mean I’m now a slut.” Aaron retorted, obviously annoyed with the very thought of even being asked out by this kid that was evidently named Mikki. I’d never seen him before. Or if I have, I’ve never noticed the boy. He didn’t stand out.
“Wait a second. Oh Mikki you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind hey Mikki! Hey Hay Hey Mikki!” I danced around, singing this before realizing just how much I was embarrassing Aaron. “Never mind. I’m easily amused.” I shrugged, sliding my hands back into my pockets. Damn it. I mostly did it just to get him to go away. Mostly. That and I really wanted to see his reaction. It's all I ever do anything for. Reactions.
“Let’s just go, Daemon…” Aaron said, grabbing the arm of my jacket and pulling me away from the situation. He was so cute when he got embarrassed. His ears went all red, and his eyes got all big and innocent. God, I needed something that would hold me down around him. Everything he did made me wanna get all hard and shit.
“Where are we going?”
“My house.”
Oh god, his parents were never home, either, and I was so close to taking the boy right there in front of the school building. That’s bad.
“Yeah, I did, Mikki, but that doesn’t mean I’m now a slut.” Aaron retorted, obviously annoyed with the very thought of even being asked out by this kid that was evidently named Mikki. I’d never seen him before. Or if I have, I’ve never noticed the boy. He didn’t stand out.
“Wait a second. Oh Mikki you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind hey Mikki! Hey Hay Hey Mikki!” I danced around, singing this before realizing just how much I was embarrassing Aaron. “Never mind. I’m easily amused.” I shrugged, sliding my hands back into my pockets. Damn it. I mostly did it just to get him to go away. Mostly. That and I really wanted to see his reaction. It's all I ever do anything for. Reactions.
“Let’s just go, Daemon…” Aaron said, grabbing the arm of my jacket and pulling me away from the situation. He was so cute when he got embarrassed. His ears went all red, and his eyes got all big and innocent. God, I needed something that would hold me down around him. Everything he did made me wanna get all hard and shit.
“Where are we going?”
“My house.”
Oh god, his parents were never home, either, and I was so close to taking the boy right there in front of the school building. That’s bad.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Chapter 4:
There’s not a lot to life. You’re born, you exist with other sub-creatures, and then you die. There’s really nothing you can do to break the circle. I mean, there isn’t a person alive that isn’t going to die. There is no way you can survive without other living things. Life is really short. You live for sixty to eighty years in an unforgiving world, and you’re buried like you never meant anything to anybody. Life’s a cunt, then you eat it. You should live life doing what you want to do, instead of what THEY want you to do. Obey your fucking heart, not the goddamn government.
Anarchy is no way to live life, just know that I realize that if there is no government at all, then there is gonna be crime hemorrhaging all over the place. I don’t want crime, I just want the government to be a little more forgiving. To stop being so hypocritical, and make it so if someone wants to do something, you’re not going to stop them. Murder, rape, shit like that yes stop it. But that means you have to stop going to war over oil, thanks.
The government kills people that kill people to say that killing people is bad.
Yeah…that makes a lot of fucking sense.
Anarchy is no way to live life, just know that I realize that if there is no government at all, then there is gonna be crime hemorrhaging all over the place. I don’t want crime, I just want the government to be a little more forgiving. To stop being so hypocritical, and make it so if someone wants to do something, you’re not going to stop them. Murder, rape, shit like that yes stop it. But that means you have to stop going to war over oil, thanks.
The government kills people that kill people to say that killing people is bad.
Yeah…that makes a lot of fucking sense.
Chapter 3
School is another example of propaganda fueled education. Just like television. Half of the what they teach you in any given class is either completely wrong, has some sort of loophole to where it’s ‘not a lie’, or is biased. History is a prime example of this. They don’t tell the political part of Hitler’s mind; only he wanted to kill off the ‘imperfections’. He actually had some real good ideas, but nobody cares about that shit. They need to stop dwelling on some shit. Look forward. I do believe in teaching history, though. Just don’t do a half-assed job of it. I mean, if you’re gonna teach a bunch of kids what mistakes not to make, then you may as well try to tell them what is /good/ to do. Instead you let them watch television and only tell them half the facts, and expect them to be the future presidents, lawyers, shit like that. It makes no fucking sense.
It sounds bad, but sitting in my first period history, I ignored the hell out of the goddamned teacher. I was more focused on the back of Aaron’s head. We only had one class together, which may or may not be a good thing.
I reached up to pet his pretty black hair, all nice and silky. It was something to do, and it was one of Aaron’s weaknesses. He loved to be touched, even in a sexual way you could touch him. He just loved the attention.
Bad thing about Aaron is he was abused as a kid. Like, every fucking way possible. Now he thinks to make people happy he has to be all adorable and submissive and rape-able. If it weren’t for the fact that the world thought that I was either asexual or painfully straight stopped me from being with him. It was more for Aaron’s sake than my own. I didn’t care if they made fun of me, but Aaron was a people pleaser, and even if I told him I was gay, he probably wouldn’t go out with me.
I’m still not sure if I’m gay, though.
I played with the boy’s hair that whole class, and Mrs. Lewinski didn’t say a word.
It sounds bad, but sitting in my first period history, I ignored the hell out of the goddamned teacher. I was more focused on the back of Aaron’s head. We only had one class together, which may or may not be a good thing.
I reached up to pet his pretty black hair, all nice and silky. It was something to do, and it was one of Aaron’s weaknesses. He loved to be touched, even in a sexual way you could touch him. He just loved the attention.
Bad thing about Aaron is he was abused as a kid. Like, every fucking way possible. Now he thinks to make people happy he has to be all adorable and submissive and rape-able. If it weren’t for the fact that the world thought that I was either asexual or painfully straight stopped me from being with him. It was more for Aaron’s sake than my own. I didn’t care if they made fun of me, but Aaron was a people pleaser, and even if I told him I was gay, he probably wouldn’t go out with me.
I’m still not sure if I’m gay, though.
I played with the boy’s hair that whole class, and Mrs. Lewinski didn’t say a word.
Chapter 2
This was a new thing for me. Not knowing how I felt about something, that doesn’t work. I always know how I feel about everyone, everything. I always have a set opinion of everything.
“Aaron…” I whispered, rubbing my nose on the boy’s neck just to pick on him. “I know this sounds odd, but am I at all attractive to you at all?”
Aaron made an odd noise, but shook his head. “No, Daemon…”
I bit my tongue, I was going to ask why, or if it was because of my hair, or anything. But I didn’t. I just got all cold and stayed still. It was okay, really. I could deal with disappointment. I have before. This wasn’t any different. “Do you love me?” I whispered. There were only three people on the bus: me, Aaron, and some creepy poser Goth kid with his head in a bulky pair of head phones. Most days Aaron didn’t ride the bus, though. This is why I was so excited to sit next to him. I don’t get excited, just keep that in your brain, Daemon Everest Cade doesn’t get excited.
“Of course I do! More than the world.” He answered, and somehow it just seemed true.
“Just not like that?”
“I dunno!”
Okay, so he didn’t know. I can work with that, I can help it go from platonic to atomic.
The bus stopped for a group of six or seven kids, and the boy let go of his friend and pulled his knees to his chest after the boy had sat up. Some how, I was expecting a lot more from the boy. Like at least a maybe. Or better yet, a YES MARRY ME. But I should have known. I’ve never been very…easy on the eyes. Not that I’m ugly, not really. Just to most people I’m probably gross or something. Who knows? Maybe it had to do with my personality? Shit.
“Aaron…how’d you figure it out?” I couldn’t help but be a curious little fuck. I was trying to figure it all out myself, remember?
“I dunno. I just kind of, got a crush on a boy, and then I let it get serious.”
“You mean you like…fucked him!?”
“Well, I let the crush develop. He doesn’t know I like him. I actually think he’s straight.
That could have been anyone.
The whole world is straight, right?
“Aaron…” I whispered, rubbing my nose on the boy’s neck just to pick on him. “I know this sounds odd, but am I at all attractive to you at all?”
Aaron made an odd noise, but shook his head. “No, Daemon…”
I bit my tongue, I was going to ask why, or if it was because of my hair, or anything. But I didn’t. I just got all cold and stayed still. It was okay, really. I could deal with disappointment. I have before. This wasn’t any different. “Do you love me?” I whispered. There were only three people on the bus: me, Aaron, and some creepy poser Goth kid with his head in a bulky pair of head phones. Most days Aaron didn’t ride the bus, though. This is why I was so excited to sit next to him. I don’t get excited, just keep that in your brain, Daemon Everest Cade doesn’t get excited.
“Of course I do! More than the world.” He answered, and somehow it just seemed true.
“Just not like that?”
“I dunno!”
Okay, so he didn’t know. I can work with that, I can help it go from platonic to atomic.
The bus stopped for a group of six or seven kids, and the boy let go of his friend and pulled his knees to his chest after the boy had sat up. Some how, I was expecting a lot more from the boy. Like at least a maybe. Or better yet, a YES MARRY ME. But I should have known. I’ve never been very…easy on the eyes. Not that I’m ugly, not really. Just to most people I’m probably gross or something. Who knows? Maybe it had to do with my personality? Shit.
“Aaron…how’d you figure it out?” I couldn’t help but be a curious little fuck. I was trying to figure it all out myself, remember?
“I dunno. I just kind of, got a crush on a boy, and then I let it get serious.”
“You mean you like…fucked him!?”
“Well, I let the crush develop. He doesn’t know I like him. I actually think he’s straight.
That could have been anyone.
The whole world is straight, right?
Chapter 1
Story of my goddamned life. I wake up all nice and refreshed and go to get a cup of fucking coffee and I spill boiling water my crotch. That’s a helluva nice good morning, really. I wish I could wake up to that every fucking day.
I’m still in high school, and I’m probably the only kid in Main High School that doesn’t give a damn what people think. I mean, if it weren’t against the law I’d probably go naked, just to prove a point. I’m not afraid of doing illegal things, but nudity really isn’t something you can hide. You can hide drugs and even drunkenness if you tried. But stupidity and nudity are two things you can’t keep from people. Even if you’re going to take a shower, your little brother has to come in and stare at your dick before you can slam the door on his nose.
Siblings, for chrissake.
Around X-town, you get a lot of crazy characters. Like the man across from my house sits in his front yard and plays tea party like a little girl. He tells you to call him Hatty. What the hell? The man is probably eighty years old and is half naked all the time. His signature though, is sitting out there in a thong and his big-ass hat. Senile old man has no idea how gross that is. He thinks he’s a 23 year old lingerie model or something.
The bus! Oh, shit. Drop. Everything. And. Run. That’s my routine right there. Whatever I’m in the middle of doing has to stop, and wait till later so I can catch up to the bus. It knows my routine, and generally will wait longer for me than anyone else. I mean, I only ride the bus because I’m poor. Well, my family is. I shopped at Goodwill when Abercrombie & Fitch was the shit. What kind of odd-end luck was that? But, as I said, I generally don’t care what people think. To me, Abercrombie is just another corporate American scheme to con people out of their hard-earned money for overpriced polos and Henleys. Starbucks is the same way. It’s just coffee. Yeah, woo a trendy white cup. That’s what would make me want a cup of 4 dollar coffee. I could buy a 1/3 of a pound of coffee for that, thanks.
So I climbed on the bus, sat in the first empty-ish seat I could find. This meant—for once—I could sit next to Aaron. Fuck yeah.
“Hey man…” I said, sliding onto the seat. The boy wasn’t very loud, and cared about what everyone thought of him, unlike me. But I actually thought he was the best thing ever. Something was just overly adorable about him, and it made me want to squeeze him until he couldn’t breathe or something.
But today, something was different about him. Instead of his usual meek “hey”, I got a full blown. “Daemon!” and a bear hug, plus a short kiss on the cheek. Was he on meth?
Though it was oddly odd, I turned to hug him back, at which point he leaned into me and was positively being a snuggle-bear.
“Damn, Aaron, you’re happy!” I grinned, not wanting to let go of him, and visa versa.
He sat up for a moment, whispering in my ear, “I told my parents I’m gay!”
If I was completely insane I would have jumped away to another seat. Or was that sane? “I didn’t know that about you!” I said as softly as I could. That might explain why he was so…shy all the time; like he was embarrassed for anyone to know about it. If you knew his true personality, he was quite the flamboyant little kitten. I just kept holding him. That was the funny part.
I never really thought about my sexuality until I found out about Aaron. Then I started questioning if I were straight, bi, gay even. Aaron had always been in my life, and I’d always—to be blunt—wanted to fuck him so hard his nose bled. But I didn’t think of it as being gay. No girls were ever attractive, though. And it wasn’t just any boy. Just Aaron.
I’m still in high school, and I’m probably the only kid in Main High School that doesn’t give a damn what people think. I mean, if it weren’t against the law I’d probably go naked, just to prove a point. I’m not afraid of doing illegal things, but nudity really isn’t something you can hide. You can hide drugs and even drunkenness if you tried. But stupidity and nudity are two things you can’t keep from people. Even if you’re going to take a shower, your little brother has to come in and stare at your dick before you can slam the door on his nose.
Siblings, for chrissake.
Around X-town, you get a lot of crazy characters. Like the man across from my house sits in his front yard and plays tea party like a little girl. He tells you to call him Hatty. What the hell? The man is probably eighty years old and is half naked all the time. His signature though, is sitting out there in a thong and his big-ass hat. Senile old man has no idea how gross that is. He thinks he’s a 23 year old lingerie model or something.
The bus! Oh, shit. Drop. Everything. And. Run. That’s my routine right there. Whatever I’m in the middle of doing has to stop, and wait till later so I can catch up to the bus. It knows my routine, and generally will wait longer for me than anyone else. I mean, I only ride the bus because I’m poor. Well, my family is. I shopped at Goodwill when Abercrombie & Fitch was the shit. What kind of odd-end luck was that? But, as I said, I generally don’t care what people think. To me, Abercrombie is just another corporate American scheme to con people out of their hard-earned money for overpriced polos and Henleys. Starbucks is the same way. It’s just coffee. Yeah, woo a trendy white cup. That’s what would make me want a cup of 4 dollar coffee. I could buy a 1/3 of a pound of coffee for that, thanks.
So I climbed on the bus, sat in the first empty-ish seat I could find. This meant—for once—I could sit next to Aaron. Fuck yeah.
“Hey man…” I said, sliding onto the seat. The boy wasn’t very loud, and cared about what everyone thought of him, unlike me. But I actually thought he was the best thing ever. Something was just overly adorable about him, and it made me want to squeeze him until he couldn’t breathe or something.
But today, something was different about him. Instead of his usual meek “hey”, I got a full blown. “Daemon!” and a bear hug, plus a short kiss on the cheek. Was he on meth?
Though it was oddly odd, I turned to hug him back, at which point he leaned into me and was positively being a snuggle-bear.
“Damn, Aaron, you’re happy!” I grinned, not wanting to let go of him, and visa versa.
He sat up for a moment, whispering in my ear, “I told my parents I’m gay!”
If I was completely insane I would have jumped away to another seat. Or was that sane? “I didn’t know that about you!” I said as softly as I could. That might explain why he was so…shy all the time; like he was embarrassed for anyone to know about it. If you knew his true personality, he was quite the flamboyant little kitten. I just kept holding him. That was the funny part.
I never really thought about my sexuality until I found out about Aaron. Then I started questioning if I were straight, bi, gay even. Aaron had always been in my life, and I’d always—to be blunt—wanted to fuck him so hard his nose bled. But I didn’t think of it as being gay. No girls were ever attractive, though. And it wasn’t just any boy. Just Aaron.
Prologue
We’re all playthings of the Great Sadist. Some are slaves. Some are nonbelievers. Some just don’t pay attention. Some are just loyal followers.
I fit in the second category.
The Great Sadist is my little Pet Name for God. I don’t understand people that do believe. They believe in democracy, too right? Then why the hell is it that one person can tell them that if they find someone of the same sex attractive that they will burn in a lake of fire for all eternity? And that’s after their already dead? Isn’t it that if you’re dead, you’re worm food? Or just ashes in an urn? Maybe it’s only me that finds all of this somehow hypocritical.
I mean, we’re just little specks, not even an atom in the universe. And truly, how do we know we’re not just a little neutron making up an atom in the make up of one guy’s pubic hair?
We fucking don’t.
I fit in the second category.
The Great Sadist is my little Pet Name for God. I don’t understand people that do believe. They believe in democracy, too right? Then why the hell is it that one person can tell them that if they find someone of the same sex attractive that they will burn in a lake of fire for all eternity? And that’s after their already dead? Isn’t it that if you’re dead, you’re worm food? Or just ashes in an urn? Maybe it’s only me that finds all of this somehow hypocritical.
I mean, we’re just little specks, not even an atom in the universe. And truly, how do we know we’re not just a little neutron making up an atom in the make up of one guy’s pubic hair?
We fucking don’t.